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Recovering From a Major Hurricane...

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I won’t say which city I work in, or which storm it was, but there was a hurricane that passed through our town. This storm wreaked havoc, turning thousands of people into worthless, inept, entitled, begging, victims, waiting for government programs to bail them out of their lack of preparation. Then, when they got their handouts, they actually complained that the government was not doing enough to help. How did it ever become the job of the government to ensure that everyone is well-fed, warm, dry, housed, healthy, and generally happy? The RIGHT to life, liberty, and property is not the same as ENSURING life, liberty, and property. Also, these victims couldn’t be happy that they got a LITTLE help from a charitable organization (which collects its donations with guns and force); these losers are actually irrate that the charitable organization didn’t do more or do it quicker.


The following are some of the ambulance runs I made during the storm recovery…


House A Blaze
8:44 Electricity came back on at a house that wasn’t quite ready for it. The electricity shorted out some stuff in the kitchen, and started a small fire under the cabinets. We hung out for a little while, watched the brave firefighters extinguish the blaze, and then took off.


911 Call, Then Got Tired of Waiting For Their Emergency Taxi

9:22 Someone called 911 for a breathing problem, but when we got there, somebody told us they got tired of waiting, and they ended up having to get their own ride to the hospital. I felt so bad that someone had to ride in their own car to the hospital, instead of being able to ride in the highly contaminated luxury of a gubment-funded ambulousine.


“That Light Was Green; I Swear it Was”
9:58 We responded to a car accident at a light-controlled intersection, in which the light was not working, due to the storm. One dude stopped at the intersection, and then he proceeded through the intersection. He did what he was supposed to do…he stopped…he just didn’t bother to check to see if any traffic was coming before he proceeded. Some lady was coming the other way, and she didn’t even bother stopping. She told us, “That light was green; I swear it was.” The traffic light was completely out…it wasn’t red, yellow, OR green. The lady had a sore rib, and the other guy had a hurt wrist. Neither of them felt like they needed an ambulance, but the guy with the hurt wrist needed a little education on what an ambulance can and can not do for a hurt wrist. At first he wanted to go to the hospital in the ambulance, but he finally realized he probably didn’t need an ambulance, when we informed him that we didn’t have any Ibuprofen. He decided he would just go with his wife who was on scene with her car.

Using a Chainsaw to Cut Debris…Oh and, A Little Bit of His Foot…
10:23 We responded to a 40 y/o HM who was cutting tree limbs from in front of a bank with a chainsaw (motosierra). He hit a knot in the tree, and the motosierra bounced back and hit his foot. The motosierra cut through his shoe, his skin, and some of his bones and tendons. The entire area was painted with blood. When we arrived, he was in his friend’s truck, with his foot wrapped up with shirts, sitting in a pool of blood. We left the wrapping in place, added some pressure dressings, applied pressure, and hauled him to the hospital. The saddest part is that from the time the injury occurred to the time he arrived at the hospital was about 45 minutes. It would have been about 15 minutes if he would have just gone in the car he was sitting in. The guy let me take a picture of his foot after we cleaned up most of the blood…









Imagine Yourself Calling 911 For a Giant Zit

1:22 We responded to the apartment of a 26 y/o HF CO being bitten by a spider approximately 5 days prior. She said she would have gone to the doctor, but there was a storm, so she didn’t go. She didn’t know whether or not she was bitten by a spider; she just assumed she had been bitten because it was such a big, nasty, pus-y, discolored, swollen mound of flesh. We gave her a $ 500 taxi ride to the hospital (with no treatment…we’ve got nothing for a big infected wound), and when we arrived, the nurse diagnosed her spider bite as a giant zit, and she sent her to the waiting room with the other 50 victims of the storm (in one way or another).



Emergency Elevator Service

12:53 We were called by a 75 y/o WM, living in a high-rise assisted-living home. He lived on the 9th floor. Somehow the assisted-living home did not have a contingency plan for when the elevators were out and a 75 y/o guy, living on the 9th floor, wanted to get downstairs. So, they called 911. We carried him down 18 flights of stairs (2 per floor). When we got downstairs, he asked us to get him close to his car. When we got close to the car, he stood up, walked to his car, got in his car, and drove himself to the airport for his trip to New Orleans. I guess he’ll call 911 when he gets to the airport, so they can carry him to his plane.



Warning…Do Not Cut Your Arteries With Broken Glass

18:01 We responded to a 33 y/o HM who was moving some broken glass (from the storm), and he dropped it on his leg. By the time we got to his house, there was blood all over his house. You could see the storyline of what happened and where he walked by following the trail of blood. His blood pressure was kind of low (around 90 palpated), so we loaded him pretty quickly and took off for the hospital. He said it was actually squirting blood, which means it was probably an arterial bleed. He had applied duct tape as a tourniquet, and he had wrapped his wound in duct tape. However, even with all the duct tape, there was still quite a bit of blood coming out all over the stretcher and ambulance. The hospital staff put on their riot gear and un-wrapped the wound…..only to find that the artery had apparently retracted, and it had stopped spraying blood. Very disappointing. I didn’t even bother taking a picture at that point.



I Don’t Think I Want To Go To The Hospital, So I’ll Just Call 911

19:49 We responded to the home of a 42 y/o WF CO dizziness while she was running several miles. She said she has heart arrythmias, and she also might have anxiety. She told us she didn’t really want to go to the hospital; she just wanted us to come look at her and let her know if she really needed to go. I guess that’s what 911 has become…a step between going to the hospital and not going to the hospital.



Crazy Chick With a Tummy Ache

21:47 Responded to an apartment complex for a 24 y/o WF CO a tummy ache for the past 5 days. She didn’t want to go get looked at until now because of the storm. She had no other complaints, and her vitals were normal. She was, however, very crazy…taking all kinds of crazy meds. We took her to the hospital, and they sent her the waiting room to wait with the other hundreds of tummy aches.



$ 500 Debit Card Prank

My favorite part of the whole storm recovery was when some pranksters actually got a rumor going that FEMA was going to give out $ 500 debit cards to victims of the storm (I swear it wasn’t me…there are people far Crusty-er than I am out there). Thousands of people showed up along with News crews. There were no debit cards, and the people nearly started rioting. They were quoted as saying “FEMA neeta pay us fo da gas we use ta drive hee-ah ta git ah checks” and “FEMA ain’t heppin us out nough; dey neeta give us mo’…ah people is suffrin!”

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